Saying Goodbye to Your Dying Loved One: A Tribute Party Stan Goldberg February 1, 2012 End of Life 22 Comments Excerpt from Leaning Into Sharp Points" Practical Guidance and Nurturing Support for Caregivers. One of the first things Dean did when I entered his...
How Can I Be a Compassionate Caregiver? Stan Goldberg November 7, 2011 End of Life 10 Comments Caring for someone with a chronic or terminal illness can bring out the best in us. It's easy if it is someone who shares our values. But how do we show compassionate care for someone with few redeeming qualities?
“Shoot me, Please”: The Right to Die Stan Goldberg May 23, 2011 End of Life 45 Comments He pleaded with me to shoot him and the request wasn’t figurative. He was my first patient as a hospice volunteer in San Francisco and I was forced...
The Good Death: Views of Academics and Trench Workers Stan Goldberg November 16, 2010 End of Life 15 Comments The earliest reference I could find to “the elephant in the room” story was by the wonderful 12th Century Persian poet Rumi. He wrote about wise...
Choosing How To Die. Does it Make a Difference? Stan Goldberg October 17, 2010 End of Life 10 Comments If you could choose the way you will die, what would it be?” Many people cavalierly answer “old age” or “in my sleep,” as if either of...
Dying the Way We Live Stan Goldberg June 13, 2010 End of Life People who were dying in the Middle Ages said their goodbyes, gave away the furniture, and just stopped breathing. The non-event was witnessed by friends and family, who, at the moment of death absconded with anything of value. Later, they might gather to either celebrate or deride the person’s life. Today, although we rarely fight over furniture, we do something worse.
Prostate Cancer Research Funding and Male Vanity Stan Goldberg March 8, 2010 Cancer 6 Comments As someone who’s living with prostate cancer, I applauded Louis Gossett Jr.’s testimony in Congress on the importance of prostate cancer research funding. If congress was listening, maybe I’ll live long enough for something else to kill me. But according to the American Cancer Society statistics, I shouldn’t hold my breath.
Dying Stands Logic on its Head Stan Goldberg January 13, 2010 End of Life 2 Comments We often harshly judge behaviors we don't understand. They can involve someone's ingratitude, anger, or actions we label as foolish. I recently was guilty of the same thing here in the San Francisco Bay area with one of my hospice patients.
Faces of Grief Stan Goldberg November 13, 2009 Grieving and Recovery Although there are many approaches to grief counseling, most focus directly on the grief we experience over the death of a loved one. But what about the unexplainable, and often embarrassing grief experienced over the death of someone we never knew?
Bottomless Holes Stan Goldberg September 15, 2009 End of Life More than 10 years ago, I saw a black and white photograph by Richard Avedon that I still vividly remember. It was taken of a young boy in 1947 in Sicily. He was in the foreground smiling broadly and wearing a suit that was too short in the arms and too tight in the waist. In the background—softly out of focus—was a tree with a symmetrical oval canopy and a fence that defined the boundary between sky and water. A seemingly bucolic scene unless you looked carefully at the boy.
When the Ground Shakes: A Need for Structure Stan Goldberg July 28, 2009 Aging, Alzheimer’s/dementia I was concerned when I came home and couldn’t find my mother. The back of the house has a steep incline off the deck that leads to a forested area. When I saw that the gate leading down the stairs was open, concern turned to panic.
You’ve Got It! Stan Goldberg December 1, 2004 Cancer It was Monday, May 27, 2002 and the morning fog was clearing. Sitting in my kitchen drinking a cup of coffee, I watched the Pacific become visible. It would be a great day. Then the phone rang. “Good morning Stan”, my doctor said, “the results are positive.”
